Thursday, June 5, 2008

An open apology to Bloggers...

Its a sad day, a sad day indeed. Losing a friendship is never a scenario that one can be happy with, but strangely enough, one can be relieved.
Such is the case today for yours truly.

You see, unfortunately, i've had to make a decision that I struggled with for a time, debated unto the nether regions of reality, weighed as an homage to decency and colored the hues of a persuading sunset, all to no avail and all to the same conclusion: Lying and general deception are not good characteristics, nor a very strong foundation, for friendship, plain and simple.

It is with regret that I come to the blogger world today to offer an apology and a warning sign regarding things and people who really arent who or whom they seem to be.
And unfortunately, you all know her.
I am speaking of Donkette.

Don't get the wrong idea, I mean her no ill will and only good health and fortune throughout her life, but i simply can no longer call our relationship a friendship.

No, this has nothing to do with whether or not my entry was paid for into this years WSOP, ( I won a tournament that she hosted to give away 2 seats)it has everything to do with how you treat your 'friends' and the lack of respect you show by your actions and nonactions. It's normal for friends to support and trust one another, that is the bedrock of relationship. It is normal to be forgiving and lenient and to make excuses when hard times and weird circumstance rears its' repsective heads..But there is a limit and i've reached mine. I've let go of the dock lines and let that ship drift out to sea...

I am not a vindictive person, nor a malicious type, but I feel it is partially my responsibility to offer this apology to the bloggers as Donkette was a close friend of mine and ive recently learned of the depth of her mistakes towards this new group of friends of this particular literary world and cannot idly stand by any longer. In my mind, Donkette is NOT who she makes herself out to be and as far as I can tell, she does NOT have any credibility with what she says. I am sorry if any of you got involved in any of the web's or scenario's she has spun, but i hope this apology and warning can minimize any damage already done and act as a beacon, or rather a bright,f lashing yellow caution light floating in the ether telling all comers to beware..take heed, proceed with skepticism and at your own personal, spiritual peril. At this time, it is my humble opinion that she cannot be trusted. For if she can treat my friends and myself, those of us who personally know her and interact with her locally, the way she has done so in the last 5 or so months, then i have no alternative than to take the hit for the team and erect the sign that shines the light of truth into an otherwise shady world of deceipt.

I had hoped to actually help Donkette in that i feel she has an actuall illness or problem which causes her to behave as she has, but as of now, im not so sure she can claim ignorance any more. In fact, when I tried to have a conversation with her, leading into a delicate discussion of events, it ended rather abruptly as the receiver went dead in my ear..and on subsequent communication there was absolutely ZERO effort on her part to own any of the responsibility for any issues regarding the whole mess that was the WSOP buy-in promises. In my heart, where my filing cabinet of friendships reside, there is a card that says "confront her, help her, support her and whatever else you can think before she really ends up hurting herself.

Unfortunately, she has hurt too many others,including myself, before I could get to that point.
And so it is that today I decided to let it go. Ive had quite the shithole, fuckthistle of a year as it is and maybe my internal patience has shortened, but it is my firm belief that friends should, at all costs, be honest and OPEN with each other. If you can't have both of those, what exactly is the point?

So for Donkette, I thank you for the times we enjoyed, the sorrows we shared and the futures we aspired to as there was true friendship from this side, freely given, but only decieved in return. I grieve the loss of our friendship, but in the end, in reality, in TRUTH..what have I actually lost? I dont think I can answer that because I dont think I know what is real or not anyway..

But I know someone who can answer that question.
I'm wondering if the courage is available to step up, come clean and offer a real apology and to salvage what once had promise yet now is empty...

For in the end, friendship always has the other's back and forgiveness is on the menu. The question is do you have the currency of humility and truth to pay the price for what is right and true.

Here's to hoping, but not waiting any longer...